Cliffhanger

Rock climbing

up the snowy ledges

toward the cave

of

fear

on the edge

why?--to achieve (symbolic)

success.

Is it worth it?

space

Boots step carefully

slowly

steep, narrow pockets

where snow at least is firmer

than rock or moss

space

Steps appearing forward, with closer view

step by step...it could be possible...

this is about accomplishment, positive thinking--

...right?

but no. One slip...

space

Turning back

the way I came

(thinking of avalanche victims

ten dead in recent weeks)

another opening...try again?

Space

The inner voice: No. Just fear?

Why risk it? I could go around.

(Flash to deer intuition--I felt a voice not to go on that highway, but discounted it,

irrational...went a little farther around a curve and

wham!--she (pregnant, in April) veered full speed into the front fender--killed.)

space

I do go around: the easy way, back end of ridge-top

look down the way up I would have come: steep,

forbidding snowy access to the west.
Space

Now I can enjoy the view

...friends in Nepal, seeing five of the ten highest peaks, at once!

(the easier way, trekking)

I reflect: adventure, heroism?

--why? Challenge, risk, adrenaline

pride. Symbolic of achievement, success

worthiness...yet leaves question

...was it worth it?

space

From there I walk on up the hill toward my original destination

...the cave. Should I continue?

Nah.

Why not?

There's no computer in the cave.
Space

© Nowick Gray
31 January 1998